Here is some context as to why I share things pertaining to ADD/ADHD.
I recently found out, between March-May of 2018, that I’ve been living my whole life with ADHD. It’s been a relief, a whirlwind of emotion and heavy explanation for a lot of things I’ve struggled with in life.
I have a lot of opinions on this topic and I cannot share them all in one post. So, I will randomly share things I come across that resonate with me. I am not an expert, I am not professionally qualified to give advice and I am purely coming from the perspective of my own experiences. I am very open and willing to share my thoughts and experiences with anyone, so if you are curious and have a question – fire away.
My main reason for sharing is this:
As I was discovering that almost every single trait of ADHD applies to me I learned that it often goes undetected in those of us with a more female brain chemistry. A lot of us with a female brain chemistry get treated for anxiety and/or depression, when oftentimes the source of these disorders is having undiagnosed ADHD, their ADHD is misdiagnosed as something else or a diagnosis of ADHD with no explanation of what it actually means for your brain/life. It’s a lot more than “not being able to focus” or “unable to sit still”.
There is a lot of awareness that ADHD is a thing in our current society, however, I feel it is widely underestimated. I often hear people say, “don’t you think we are all a little ADD?” and to that I say – “If you don’t have it, you cannot understand why is it so difficult to live with this brain in this society, I think a lot more people have this brain than we realize, but no – everyone does not have it.”
I do not feel that it is something to be regarded as problematic. I feel our society was not built for those of us who differ from the norm. There isn’t much room for “error” if you want to succeed in a western society. What is erroneous? A lot of arbitrary societal “rules” being “broken”. I understand that with this brain chemistry comes a lot of unfavorable qualities that make living with someone, parenting someone, working with someone, teaching someone who has ADHD difficult, but I do believe it doesn’t particularly have to be that way if we all play to our abilities and help each other in ways we can with the challenges. Allow more room for “error”.
Consider why these traits are “unfavorable”.
If these traits are causing anyone harm, emotional, physical or otherwise – then they are the traits to focus on managing. If these traits are causing very benign, social faux pas or “different” lifestyle choices – focus on allowing judgement to fall away. The less we judge others for being different than what we are conditioned to think is acceptable, the less our children and those around us will judge others.
Focus on bigger things than if someone is staring out a window, doodling in class, chewing their shirt, writing on their hands or shoes, chewing copious amounts of gum, fidgeting constantly or chewing their hair. Try to find out the reason why someone says things that seem socially inappropriate. Stop thinking that people are somehow wrong or damaged if they go about doing something in a different way than you do (you might learn something). If you are judging someone, try to figure out why before you belittle someone and make them feel small because you don’t understand a different perspective than your own. This list could go on forever, so I’ll stop here.
I think our culture is leaning in the right direction when it comes to these types of things, but as a person who lives it daily – we aren’t there yet. I’m a 33 year old, seemingly straight white female – I’m pretty resilient these days. (I don’t say this to brag, but to recognize the fact that I inherently carry privileges that work to my advantage from a judgement perspective – and I am still judged HARD by strangers. Consider those who are judged even more by possessing traits they happened to be born with and are trying to live with an ADHD brain in a neurotypical world.) Lots of people are not so resilient, it’s still a problem. We aren’t even close to there yet.
I see more and more diverse educational options being made available and that is wonderful. I know that the way our education system is designed, these options are not accessible for everyone. I know that in the public school system IEP programs and special needs teachers are LOADED with students and there aren’t enough people to match the population of students who need assistance. This, to me, is a sign of the very obvious fact that everyone doesn’t learn the same way and not every “disorder” should be labeled a disability. I often hear people complain that “too many people are over diagnosed” and we’re being “too sensitive” to kids and some of them just need to “toughen up”. Well, considering the amount of people struggling with mental illness and addiction that were told these same things growing up – I would educate yourself in this area and reconsider your mentality if that is where you stand on this topic. I don’t know the answer to this problem, but I hope we are on our way to figuring it out.
**I also know that the term disability is controversial within the world of ADD/ADHD, but the fact is that if is not labeled a “disability” students cannot access services for help within the school system. That’s just how it works. So, unfortunately that is the label it must have for now.
I will randomly be sharing things I find or things that resonate with me pertaining to this topic. I’m still learning how to manage my brain and work with myself to function with mild bumps and curves in this world. Just figured I’d give some insight as to why and share some (hopefully) relatable content.
Please feel free to send information my way on this topic, as I love devouring as much as I possibly can.
-roxii
roxii 